A Message from Katmandu

28th May
Sorry for the delay in me updating the blog. I have not been to well. The plan was to summit on the 23rd May. We climbed upto the North col on the 20th. After a sleepless night, literally holding the tent up as the wind was unreal we set off for 7800m. I knew from the word go i wasn`t going well. The day should take 5/6hrs. The plan was to go on oxygen around 7500m. The problem I was having was an inability to slow my breathing down. I was taking one step forward then stopping for 5 breaths. Even at this rate I was still panting constantly. I radioed upto the camp for them to bring down the oxygen which they did. This made a small amount of difference when really it should transform your performance. I finally got to the camp in the dark at 8.30pm. I had been going just under 12hrs. I was exhausted. i boiled up some water and tried to relax. Even at rest I still could not slow my breathing down. I put the oxygen back on just to try and rest. The camp is on a steep gradient and if you were to come out of your tent and slip you would fall a fair way. I needed to slow my breathing down and couldn`t. During the night I snoozed as best I could. I woke at 3.30am and sat up to hear my lungs were crackling when I exhaled. The cracklind is water building up in your lungs.This is a sign of High Altitude Pulmonary Edema (HAPE). This condition can be life threatening if not treat or ignored. On realising what was happening I took the correct medication and increased the flow of oxygen. I propped myself up so the water didn`t affect my breathing as much and prayed it didn`t get any worse! The only real cure for HAPE is to descend. As long as I didn`t get any worse the risks in descending were far greater than I faced staying put until the morning. It was a long night, staring at the roof of the tent realising that I needed to get down but also my dream was over. I was scared but knew to get through this safely I needed to keep calm and just slow my breathing down as best as I could. I cried with frustration and fear at the same time. The summit was so close and I felt robbed. I thought maybe by the morning I could go and it would be alright. At the same time I knew if this happened higher up or it got worse, the chances of getting down were very small. This made me think of Beth and Isla and everyone at home who were unaware of the situation and who I`d promised I wouldn`t take unnecessary risks."I will only go one step up if I know I can get that one step back", that`s what I`d said. It was now time to stick to that promise and not take a big gamble. The sun came up and people began rising from there tents. It was a perfect day and the views were just amazing. I went up and saw Nigel the Doc and Stu the leader, both of which confirmed what I already knew. The risks of going on were to great . Nigel said I could take Viagra which could help,but if it comes again you are in deep trouble. The risk was just to great. Maybe when I was 20 some I might of rolled the dice but life`s to good and Everest doesn`t need any more bodies laying on it. I set off down after wishing the guys well. My goggles were steamed up with the tears rolling down my cheeks. I was walking away from my dream. I went passed the Montenegrans who hugged me and said how sorry they were in there broken English. I got down onto the snow reasonably quickly. There a lot of people coming up to 7800m today, as there plan was to go for the summit on the 24th. I passed heaps of people who I`d got to know over the last few weeks. Each time I explained it felt like a kick in the nuts. I was sick by the time I reached the north col as I must of told the storey 20times. I just wanted to get down so the Sherpa and myself didn`t waste much time at the North col. I grabbed one or two things I had left in the tent and we headed down. I was still breathing hard although the oxygen was helping a lot. The descent was tiring and I began to stumble a bit which made me slow down and take my time. Once at ABC I thought I would feel a lot better but soon realised that I was coughing violently and still very short of breath. Ispent the night there but knew the next day I needed to get down further to base camp.Bola the guy running the base camp operation, had organised for a jeep to collect me and drive to Katmandu in a day. I would then be able to get treatment. The walk down to base camp was exhausting. I was to weak to carry my bag and it took 7 1/2hrs instead of 5hrs. That night I was so tired but my coughing would not allow me to sleep. The next morning, the 24th(summit day for a lot of teams) I was up at 5am as the jeep for Katmandu was coming at 6am. There was 2inchs if fresh snow and the mountains were completely clouded over. There were a lot of people high up on Everest this morning, either coming down or going up for there summit attempt. I hoped they were all safe and wished Raj and his staff a fair well. We knew we had people still up at 8300m and 7800m. It was sad leaving base camp in this way. I had wrote the team a letter explaining the situation and hoping they would contact me with there stories and pics in the not to distant future. I think it would have been hard for me to swallow if I was around when they came down. The journey to Katmandu was long but interesting. The scenery was a lot greener compared to when we came through it 8 weeks ago. I got back to the hotel in Katmandu at 7.30pm. After a bit of confusion I met up with Uswari, the guy who owns Himalayan Guides. This is the company Adventure Peaks use in Nepal. He is a very well connected guy and organises the logistics for a lot of the Western teams on both sides of Everest. He took me straight to a medical clinic and at 10.30pm I was examined. They put me on a nebuliser which helped with my chest and after the examination said i need a chest xray just to make sure but it was HAPE and probably some form of chest infection. I went back the following day and the xray which was clear so they gave me some medication and a fit to fly note. i am now waiting for a flight home..... Sick as a parrot. I have not stopped yet so I don`t think the real sadness has hit home but I can`t help thinking of the view from the high camp, the summit was less than 2km away. It was there and to have turn your back and not give it a go is gutting. I have talked to my parents and Beth, they have been hugely supportive and I think a bit relieved I made the decision to turn round. I feel like I have let them all down in some way. All that worry for nothing! I can not wait to see them all. I will put up my daily reports as well as this but thought I better let you guys know what had happened. I hope you have enjoyed the blog and wish I could have brought better news to finish with.

Look after yourselves and each other

Jonathan